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By Amber, on June 30, 2011, at 11:01 pm There’s something so appealing about candy bark. Maybe I just like the excuse to eat enormous pieces of candy. Yeah, that could be it.
Anyway, it’s really easy to make, but the version I’m sharing with you tonight is only for serious, serious bacon lovers. It is so smoky and rich that I can eat one little piece and I either have to stop or move on to something lighter.
You’ll need:
- up to 4 small/medium pieces of good bacon
- 1 cup of the best lard you can get
- 4-6 oz of dark chocolate (a Ghirardelli 70% bakers bar from the baking aisle is exactly 4 oz)
First, fry your bacon and chop it somewhat finely. Keep the grease if you want your bark to be really out of control bacony (and you know you do!).
Melt your chocolate in a double boiler. When all of the chocolate is melted, stir in your lard and bacon grease, and keep stirring until uniform.
Pour the melted mixture into a lined 8″x8″ dish. You can use wax paper or parchment paper for this step. Sprinkle your bacon evenly throughout the chocolate (if you made too much, you get to eat it. Yay!) and put the pan into the freezer.
I’m not sure how long it takes to freeze because I went and did other stuff for a few hours, but I don’t think it’s long. When you’re pretty sure it has hardened, dump it onto a cutting board and gently peel the paper away:
You’ll have to work out your own method of dividing it up into chunks. I find pressing the blade evenly in (and, optionally, whacking it) gives a pretty good line all the way across the brick. In any case, you will have delicious, rich little chocolate bacon squares. You’ll have to store them in the freezer.
Enjoy!
By Amber, on June 28, 2011, at 9:56 pm Blog note: because I am tired and lazy, here is the text of the speech I gave tonight at Toastmasters, and a photo you have already seen. I won Best Speaker!
Humans are predators. Our eyes are in the front of our heads. Our stomachs contain specific enzymes that break down meat. Our ancestors made tools and became skilled hunters, capable of killing much larger and stronger animals. Our brains, say scientists, would not have become as large and as capable as they are had we not been eating all that meat.
But we are too good as predators. Throughout our history we’ve nearly wiped out many traditional food sources that used to fill the plains and the seas, like bison and sea turtles. When Christopher Columbus arrived in the Cayman Islands, he called them ‘Las Tortugas’ because sea turtles were so numerous in the surrounding waters that it seemed one might be able to walk across their backs.
Sometimes the predatory ways of our species are not food-based, but fear-based, or even superstition-based. All three reasons are cause for a dramatic decline in the world’s shark population — some Atlantic species are down as much as 80%. Up to 73 million sharks are killed every year, and a large contributor is the practice of finning, where a shark’s dorsal fin is sliced off to be sold at up to $300/lb for shark fin soup and the shark is released back to the ocean, where it dies if it is not already dead. Removing these top predators from an ecosystem can cause terrible imbalance as sick fish and lower predators are not removed. These lower predators like to eat the same things we do, like tuna and scallops. Sharks keep the ocean population healthy, strong, and diverse all the way down to the bottom of the food chain.
I went Playa del Carmen recently, where I learned something interesting. From November to February, bull sharks gather in the waters off Playa to give birth. Scuba divers from around the world come to see the sharks and each diver pays around $100-$150 per dive. This past November, a fisherman from a nearby town killed nine of those sharks, including seven females that were gestating a total of 50 pups. Dying sharks release a chemical into the water that other sharks can detect, and the remaining sharks stayed away for the rest of the season.
That fisherman probably made up to $1800 total by selling the sharks to a middleman who could resell them to an exporter, who would in turn make much more for the individual parts on the international market. And the whole Playa tourism industry, from the dive shops to the hotels and restaurants, lost tens of millions for the season. They will almost certainly lose more in the coming years, now that an entire future generation of bull sharks has been wiped out.
The amazing thing is that the fisherman was completely within his legal rights in Mexico. A lot of people around the world are working very hard to conserve shark populations and to create marine sanctuaries, including in Playa. In January, the Shark Conservation Act was signed into law in the US, disincentivizing fisherman from the practice of finning by requiring them to keep entire body, which is worth very little to most people. It also allows the US to refuse seafood imports from countries that allow finning.
There is still so much to be done. Maybe you’re like me, and you’ve encountered a shark on a dive, in which case you already know what a magical experience that is, and I don’t have to sell you on shark conservation. Or maybe you’re thinking, “Well, I’d be more interested in diving if it weren’t for sharks.” But without sharks, you can say goodbye to healthy reefs. There won’t be much to dive for.
If you care about sharks, or ecology, or even if you just like to eat seafood – especially if you just like to eat seafood — I encourage you to seek out any of the many marine conservation agencies around the world, like Oceana or Shark Allies, and do some reading about what’s happening and how we can stop it. I have three things you can do right now: don’t buy shark products other than fossils, don’t eat shark fin soup, and consider not patronizing restaurants that serve shark fin soup (and telling the manager why). Finning is a brutal and disastrous practice, and it’s up to us to stop it.
By Amber, on June 26, 2011, at 10:07 pm Eyeshadow space was becoming an issue.
I decided it was time to join this century and buy a palette for all of those MAC shadows. I resisted for years because I love those little pots, but after dropping and breaking a partial pan for the zillionth time, I decided it was time for something less hockey puck-shaped. I figured if 6,000 teenagers could de-pot their MAC shadows and post tutorials about it on YouTube, I could manage to de-pot a few shadows, too. I assembled my work station.
Friends, that was the scariest thing I’ve ever done with $180 worth of eye shadow. Especially the ones I just got Friday, which are limited edition from the MAC Bloggers’ Obsessions collection. I am too lazy to go look right now, but I know at least one of them is sold out. But I saved those for last, and though I may have shortened the natural lives of a couple of the first ones I did, I got them all into the palette!
 Top, l-r: Jealousy Wakes, Sumptuous Olive. Middle, l-r: Carbon, Meet the Fleet, Parisian Skies, Copperplate, Vex. Bottom, l-r: Mystery, Cork, Coquette, Shroom, Mylar. For an encore, I decided to use the alcohol method to repair an Urban Decay shadow that had crumbled to bits in its pan (most likely precipitated by dropping…do we see a pattern?). Observe the sad state of affairs:
And later, ta-da!
Then I got bold. I decided I would put my three most used Urban Decay shadows into the empty spaces of my MAC palette. The purist in me said I should buy three of the MAC shadows that I want, but the optimist in me said I can just buy another palette when I need to. ;)
Remember my old school Urban Decay pots? Two of those made the cut. For a few seconds it made me kind of sad to get rid of those cute tins, but my assistant reminded me that I am learning to practice non-attachment.
Wait, what is that on my assistant’s face? Did she get into my eyeshadows when I wasn’t looking?
Nope, I guess the stress of all the eyeshadow surgery got to her and she had to blow off some steam:
Oh well. I got my shadows in order — no thanks to her — and I am excited to have more colors right at my fingertips every morning. This week I guess I’ll find out if I made a big mistake!
 Last three shadows of top row, l-r: UD Plague, UD Asphyxia, UD X
By Amber, on June 23, 2011, at 11:00 pm Just a few snaps from macro-stalking in my parents’ yard last weekend!
By the way, if you read me at my actual site instead of a reader, you may have noticed that I am a little behind on 365 uploads. It seems that flickr’s psychic upload service is on the fritz, but I hear it’ll be fixed in a jiffy!
Oh, also? I am definitely my Toastmasters club’s new VPPR. Hooray! Looking at the list of the other new officers, I am confident that it is going to be a very good year.
By Amber, on June 21, 2011, at 10:58 pm Don’t you just hate waiting all night for the returns?
Tonight we held officer elections at my Toastmasters club. I came back from the district conference and the leadership seminar with a bunch of ideas for my club, some specifically geared toward the VP Public Relations role. I wrote my stump speech for VPPR weeks ago and have been just waiting to deliver it!
And then nobody ran against me. I did get nominated for VP Education and VP Membership, but I didn’t care to take on either of those roles this year, so I declined to stay in the running for them. The folks who had someone to compete against gave their speeches, and we all submitted our ballots.
Rather than wait for the ballots to be counted, we agreed that the outgoing Sergeant at Arms would send the results by email, and we haven’t heard yet. I don’t feel right celebrating my ‘victory’ before it’s official, but…did I mention nobody else was running? Ha!
I can’t wait to see who I’ll be working with and get started. However it shakes out in the other seats, I think this is going to be a great year for the club!
By Amber, on June 19, 2011, at 12:00 pm Since I shared some important lessons from Mom on Mother’s Day, I thought today I would share some important lessons from Dad today.
- How to swear without swearing. My dad is the only person I’ve ever heard yell ‘Godblessit!’ upon stubbing a toe.
- It is possible to eat the same lunch every day for decades and not get bored (though I would like to point out that raisins do not, in any universe, qualify as dessert).
- You are great just the way you are, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to be your best.
- Grilled cheese tastes best when made with at least a quarter stick of butter (I probably would have figured this one out on my own, but I appreciate the head start!).
- It’s nice to be important, but it’s important to be nice. More importantly, people will almost certainly think you’re nice if you think they’re important!
- Sometimes, the right answer is “Bite me.”
Thanks Dad!
By Amber, on June 16, 2011, at 10:00 pm The guanciale was delicious in eggs, but I wanted to see what else it could do. I already had plans and supplies for a bacon and scallop dish from Primal Blueprint Quick & Easy Meals, so I decided to use the scallops. Close enough to what I had planned – hopefully better!
I had 14 pieces of guanciale left, and 24 scallops. A couple of the pieces were fairly small, so I set those aside and cut the others in half across the short axis (if I had cut them across the long axis, half of the pieces would have been all fat, and I wanted all of them to be similar in composition). The pieces were large enough to cover the scallops, but not wrap them, so I stuck a toothpick in each to prevent excessive curling:
We had some smoky scamorza left over from Heather’s visit (Revival Market impulse purchase! Can you tell we love that place?) and it seemed like it would make appropriately decadent chapeau for the scallops. I cut some little chunks and pressed one side of each into panko bread crumbs for a little crunch:
My advice: make sure you do this ahead of cooking the scallops, and set them on a plate. You’ll want them to be ready and next to the oven when you need them.
Broil the scallops for six minutes. At the end of six minutes, pull them out and quickly stick a piece of your panko-covered cheese on top of each one, then pop them back in for 2-3 minutes (you’ll want to watch them starting at two minutes, because the cheese melts and the guanciale crisps up very quickly at this point):
Et voilà! Guanciale-wrapped scallops with melty scamorza and toasty panko. Could that have been any easier?
Oh yes — you probably want to know how this tasted. Well, Mark ate the first couple and said, “Wow.” And then he kept saying it, louder and louder with each scallop. And he fist-bumped me. By the time we finished, I knew I’d be making these again.
In this setting I detected a richer quality to the guanciale, versus regular bacon — especially considering how very thin the pieces were! The cheese and bread crumbs provided a really nice touch, though I might press more crumbs into the cheese next time.
Overall, it was one of the best things I’ve made in recent history! You could serve these as appetizers — the toothpicks will be handy for guests to pick them up – but I’d recommend keeping them for yourself. Of course you can use American-style premium bacon (which I will probably have to do most of the time since guanciale is not a daily item at Revival), but this was so filling that you will probably want to be judicious in your bacon use, especially if you buy the thick kind like we do.
Mangia!
By Amber, on June 14, 2011, at 9:24 pm
I don’t remember how I stumbled onto it, but about a year ago I first heard of guanciale via this article. I was immediately intrigued – a better bacon? Is that even possible?
Thus began a fixation. I was desperate to experience it for myself, but chances seemed slim unless I could finagle a trip to Italy. I even begged Mark’s parents to send some back from their Italy vacation — they sent me a tiny photo instead:
Then, a few months ago here in Houston, Revival Market opened in the Heights. Their philosophy is to offer organic local meat, raised humanely and sustainably. Their meat case would make any carnivore salivate. We have had their Mangalitsa bacon and sausage, and it is incredible.
We happened to be buying some bacon there in April when I noticed that the pig diagram on the chalkboard included guanciale. “Do you cure your own guanciale?” I asked. The man behind the counter said “We have some curing now; it will be ready next month.” I could hardly believe my luck. Christmas was coming to Houston!
Finally the day arrived that guanciale and I were in the same place. I knew it would be coming home with me! Since we had never cooked it and it was priced the same per pound as the beef tenderloin we buy from Whole Foods, we decided half a pound of paper-thin slices would make a good test run. Look at this beautiful meat:
It wasn’t in the fridge for even 12 hours before we dug in. Our first experiment was to slowly fry it up like regular bacon, cook some eggs in the grease, and add the guanciale back to the eggs.
It was rich and delicious, but I wasn’t entirely sure I could have distinguished it from Revival’s standard amazing bacon. I wanted to try something different for the second half of our stash.
Come back Thursday to find out how we got our $25/lb worth!
By Amber, on June 12, 2011, at 11:15 pm My sister and I visited Harwin Dr. (WHY do I always call it Harwin St.??) today for a little cheap jewelry update. I always get overwhelmed, so this time I made a list ahead of time. Of course I forgot to bring it, but found a few necessities anyway:
I’m a sucker for Chanel necklaces, but I’ve made peace with the idea that I’ll never own one. I can live with $6 for a knockoff necklace and earrings! L-R: earring/necklace set (necklace is about 34″), multi-strand bracelet, gold tassel earrings, another knockoff earring/necklace set (the longer strand is about 54″). The best part? I got out for under $40. It would have been under $20, but the bracelet was a splurge!
By Amber, on June 9, 2011, at 9:29 pm What do those things have to do with each other? Nothing! They’re just the two things I’m thinking about at these ten seconds.
I saw the following car on my way home yesterday and could not figure out what the heck it was, as it has almost no badging. I passed it on the freeway just to see if I could get a better clue from the front, and I was only more confused. When I was behind it on my way in this morning (apparently the owner and I work in the same office park), I grabbed my camera and snapped this shot so I could at least see if anyone knew what it was:
Now I’ll reveal to you what a good internet stalker I am. All I knew was that it had an ‘R’ badge so I googled the license plate and ‘R type’ or something along those lines. One of the first hits was an owners’ forum for a specific car model, one of the users was named KROD, and voila: I learned about the GT-R, Nissan’s ‘supercar.’ 530 horsepower. Is that thing cool or what? If you go to the website, check out some of the interior photos. That car has controls I’d have absolutely no clue what to do with. My new car has controls I don’t know what to do with, and it cost a fraction of that price!
Houston isn’t just a great place for spotting luxury cars like that and the Aston Martin I occasionally see in the garage, it’s a great place for spotting vehicles with…unique features. The old Accord I saw today with fancy wheels and a hood scoop was interesting, but not nearly as interesting as the land yacht I occasionally see with the wood-enclosed turbo charger sticking out of the hood (I wish I knew where that guy parks, because I would definitely get a photo!). Also, I’m pretty sure the Hefty-bag rear window I saw on an SUV today was past the legal tint limit.
Check out this Cadillac I saw a couple years ago:
I forget what he was doing when I first spotted him, but when he saw me taking photos he made the door go up and all that other stuff! I gave him a thumbs-up.
Enough about cars, let’s talk about food! I think the agenda has been set (with 90% certainty, anyway) for my sister’s weekend restaurant tour. Here’s the lineup:
We also bought some snacks, but I’m really not sure when we’ll get to them! I suspect we will find a way. This family is nothing if not dedicated to needing larger pants.
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